Spent Weekend with good friends in Brooklyn,going to these friends is always relaxing and rejuvinating. They are good people who get it,have had life experiences that have taught them whats important in life.I just feel like I can act myself there.Be real.Saturday night has always been difficult for me because it means going back to the reality of the week.Back to being alone,back to trying to figure out how to raise money for medical treatment.My body automatically feels that the week is starting again,I feel the anxiety and tension in my bones.My body knows before my brain does http://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/313183/the-body-keeps-the-score-by-bessel-van-der-kolk/9780143127741/ .
How can this make sense?How can so much pain make sense?I think about the Jews who were in Egypt for 210 years,how did those individual Jews survive such suffering for so many years.Is it a trade pain for growth?and what happends if the pain is too much and growth doesnt happen but instead I give up.How is it worth it then?What was the point of the pain then?
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